Ch Ch Ch Changes

Ok so as much as I have gotten used to "change" all the time and I don't get as sad or depressed each time--I still don't like it! I get used to things the way they are and I don't love for that to change. I'm in the same apt I was in last year with my same 1 best friend but the other one gone :( It's so weird! Also--quite a few of my best friends in the ward have moved and it feels like all new faces that know people already and it's just crazy! This will definitely take some getting used to, adjusting, putting myself out there (just like every year requires), etc. I know it will be good--I just forgot how much I don't really love this whole new change thing each start of the year comes with. That being said, however, my brother is up here now. Today we said goodbye to our family and it was his first experience doing so for an extended period of time. Man oh man do I remember that first time. I never want to feel that way again. I was so glad I could take him right up to my apartment, hand him kleenex, give him a hug, and turn on our favorite show and make dinner together to distract him a bit. He came over later on to watch a movie too :) I have a feeling I will like this family escape I have so been looking forward to! There's just something comforting about having family around.

My dad gave me one of the most beautiful blessings I think I have ever gotten today. I love father's blessings right before a new school semester or new experience or just because. He promised some wonderful things and some great counsel and I know I will have a great year if I follow that. One thing that was SO comforting was the fact that this year I am making the decision whether or not I am going to serve a mission. It's always been kind of back and forth in my mind but this is the year I am officially deciding. He promised me that when that time comes for me to make my decision, having already followed the correct steps to making decisions, that I will KNOW what I am supposed to do. I will KNOW. There have been a select few times in my life when decisions have been made that I just know it's right. I have felt right about multiple things or felt ok or good about something like it's a positive thing but I am so so extremely grateful and comforted to know that whether or not I do decide to serve a mission, I will know without a doubt the pathway my life is supposed to take. Thank you Dad for that blessing and for being worthy for such inspiration.

Also--random but I have a deeper empathy for my roommate/best friend Jessica who basically lived alone in our apartment all summer. I don't know how she dealt with that. It is so lonely and just is not fun being alone in an apartment. I'm glad she's coming home soon :)

I'm excited for this year, nervous for the year, unsure about what's ahead, but positive (and making myself try to be positive haha) about it! I know it will be good. Change is hard and never easy but that's how we grow and it always ends up being for our good--bringing with it negatives but many many positives usually.